2004 was a transitional year for me. After entering voluntary appellate leave with the Department of Defense (DoD) in 2003, I gained employment with a subcontractor to the Department of Energy (DoE) in 2004.
Although I would remain on active duty military service until 2007, I was more or less allowed to live as a civilian until my DoD case was fully resolved. In my mind, I was still a Marine. However, my body was nowhere near a Marine Corps base when working with the DoE.
I experienced a rush of unpleasant emotions associated with a loss of identity and my legal woes. Herein, I’ll briefly describe how it wasn’t any activating event that caused the misery I endured. Rather, I’ll illustrate how it came to be that I upset myself at the time.
When thinking about that transformational period in my life, the electronic dance music (EDM) song “As the Rush Comes” by Gabriel & Dresden (Motorcycle) and featuring the vocals of Jes comes to mind. I recall hearing many remixes of the track which includes the following lyrics:
Travellin’ somewhere, could be anywhere
There’s a coldness in the air, but I don’t care
In 2004, I was travelin’ somewhere – from San Diego, California back to my hometown of Amarillo, Texas. It could’ve been anywhere, as far as the DoD was concerned. The military was essentially through with me and all that remained was an appellant review.
There was a coldness in the air, and part of me didn’t care. I unhelpfully told myself, “My military service will matter to me only should I receive an honorable discharge. Otherwise, I can’t stand that I’ve wasted my time in the DoD!”
From the perspective of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), I recognize the self-disturbing form of conditional should belief that I used (i.e., My military service will matter to me only should I receive an honorable discharge).
Illogically and unreasonably, here’s how that irrational belief is represented in syllogistic form:
Form (conditional) –
If p is true, then q is true.
Example –
If it’s true that I may not receive an honorable discharge, then it’s true that my military service doesn’t matter to me.
When paired with a prescriptive should-type of demand, this unhelpful proposition served as a rigid instruction for misery. Using the ABC model of REBT, misery was the unpleasant consequence of my conditional belief about service in the DoD.
Likewise, I now understand that I also used an irrational belief related to low frustration tolerance [LFT] (i.e., Otherwise, I can’t stand that I’ve wasted my time in the DoD!). If LFT had a catchphrase, it’d be something like, “I can’t stand it!”
In essence, I unhelpfully convinced myself that I should’ve only received an honorable discharge, because I couldn’t otherwise tolerate or accept an alternative outcome. With those unproductive beliefs, the rush of unpleasant consequences came.
It took many years for me to escape the rush of mental, emotional, and behavioral consequences which I brought upon myself through use of irrational beliefs. In fact, five years after “As the Rush Comes” was released, I began learning about REBT in graduate school for counseling.
By the time I graduated in 2011, I learned healthier methods of relieving my self-induced misery. Chiefly, the practice of unconditional acceptance helped quite a bit. Using this technique, the following dissected lyrics of “As the Rush Comes” were then applicable to my life:
We drift deeper, life goes on
We drift deeper […] feeling strong
[…]
So bring it on, so bring it on
REBT didn’t retroactively stop any of the activating events of my past. Rather, I was given the ability to establish resilience in the face of suffering. I drifted deeper into life, though I was stronger through frequent practice of REBT.
Therefore, when additional activating events inevitably presented themselves, I resiliently said to myself, “Bring it on!” The consequential rush that came from that productive narrative was steadfastness.
Now, I try to help other people develop similar resolve. Would you like to know more about how REBT may improve your life?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Genius. (n.d.). As the Rush Comes [Image]. Retrieved from https://genius.com/Motorcycle-as-the-rush-comes-lyrics
Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, October 5). Description vs. prescription. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/description-vs-prescription
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 21). Matching bracelets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/matching-bracelets
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Hollings, D. (2024, May 8). Resilience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/resilience
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, October 17). Syllogism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/syllogism
Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Ultra Records. (2008, November 5). Motorcycle - As the Rush Comes (Official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/FGH8rnraxoE?si=eGInUIH_vE9M49NM
Wikipedia. (n.d.). As the Rush Comes. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_the_Rush_Comes
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Gabriel & Dresden. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel_%26_Dresden
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Jes (musician). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motorcycle_(band)
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