In a blogpost entitled Why is this Tiger Here? I discussed my perspective on the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), likening an activating event to the presence of a tiger. In the post, I stated:
I typically use this imaginal exposure technique with clients who insist on exploring – and even with those who demand to know – why undesirable events have occurred. Using irrational beliefs, they disturb themselves into unpleasant emotional states.
It isn’t an uncommon occurrence for people to question why unpleasant events occur. For instance, why is there war, why do so many parents outlive their children, why can’t we all get along, why do people harm one another?
I find that some people spend what little time they have left in life contemplating how or why a tiger exists, though these individuals could more appropriately take time to consider why they maintain unfavorable beliefs about the tiger.
After all, there’s less likelihood that most people will experience an actual tiger attack, though I suspect that virtually all people disturb themselves with unhelpful beliefs about these undesirable events. Thus, one’s perception of a tiger attack becomes a different type of tiger.
As an example, person X may sit alone in the confines of one’s home and self-disturb about the inevitability of death. Although the proverbial tiger of death isn’t in the room with person X, the individual’s unproductive belief about the unavoidable end to one’s existence begins to roar.
I image that for most people, steering clear of a tiger attack is fairly straightforward. Simply don’t visit places in which tigers are present. However, the looming potential of dying suddenly is ever present.
Nevertheless, it isn’t the possibility of death that troubles person X. Rather it’s an individual’s roaring beast of irrational belief that causes fear. Noteworthy, early in my practice of REBT I misunderstood the significance of exploring from whence beliefs originate.
Describing my justification for this misunderstanding, I stated in a blog entry entitled It’s In the Past, “The overwhelming majority of clients with whom I’ve ever worked have discussed unresolved issues of the past. While I meet with these individuals in the present, I’m unable to alter the past.”
Because the past is unalterable, much of REBT focus takes place in the present and in regard to the future. Still, reading Creative Marriage, I’m considering the revision of my prior understanding about REBT. For context pages 24 and 25 state:
If a person is to be helped to think clearly and do away with his unrealistic value system, he must be shown (a) that he is irrational, (b) exactly how he is repeating nonsensical ideas to himself, (c) where and how he originally learned to do this kind of illogical thinking (or was indoctrinated with silly ideas), (d) that there is a good possibility of his becoming rational, (e) exactly how he can attack his illogical ideas and replace them with more realistic ones, and (f) how he can finally build generalized rational philosophies of living, so that he will ultimately automatically think, for the most part, in sane and undefeating ways.
Element ‘C’ of this rational equation pertains to a different type of tiger. It addresses the origin of irrational beasts… er… beliefs. Whereas it may not be of use to discuss why undesirable events occur, or from where they stem, it may be of use to explore the origin of beliefs about these events.
The authors of Creative Marriage further describe the importance of proverbial tiger-hunting in this regard by stating that when working with married individuals “he or she is given some understanding of how the irrational value system originally arose and how it is being (wittingly or unwittingly) sustained and reinforced” (page 25).
Although I’ve tended toward not discussing the past with my clients, it may be useful to hunt proverbial tigers which represent rigid attitudes with which people disturb themselves – to include the origin of these beasts. This may require tracking a different type of tiger to its den.
Helpfully, Creative Marriage offers an anecdote regarding a wife who was seen for psychotherapeutic care. The authors state (page 27):
She was shown how and why she originally acquired her dire need to be loved and protected—mainly because her mother had not given her the love she required (or thought she required) as a child—and how necessarily self-defeating it was for her, as an adult, to continue to reinfect herself with this nonsensical belief. Her general philosophy of blaming herself and others was ruthlessly revealed to her and forthrightly attacked.
The authors address how once the tiger (irrational belief) was discovered, it was “attacked,” which represents disputation associated with the ABC model. Moving forward, when using REBT in my personal and professional life, I’ll look for a different type of tiger and from whence it came.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Ellis, A. and Harper, R. A. (1961). Creative Marriage. The Institute For Rational Living, Inc. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/creative-marriage-e184052310.html
Freepik. (n.d.). Ferocious tiger winter season [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-ai-image/ferocious-tiger-winter-season_65125408.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=3&uuid=e9934f6f-7ee3-4291-8bb1-b8c09ae91227
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, January 11). It’s in the past. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/it-s-in-the-past
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, May 4). Why is this tiger here? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/why-is-this-tiger-here
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