In 1994, I sat in a dope spot (also known as a trap house) with an OG of a Crip set in Bomb City. The front door was barely intact, as the spot had been raided by a police tactical unit not long before that moment. With trash strewn throughout the house, the OG and I discussed his future.
“Do you see yourself living like this for long?” I asked as he inserted a cassette tape from the Above the Rim soundtrack into a stereo. The introduction to the song “Pain” by 2Pac and Stretch, featuring a sample of Earl Klugh’s “Living inside Your Love,” played as we spoke.
The track begins with a vocal excerpt of dialogue from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Two characters converse as one man states, “I couldn’t help but notice your pain,” to which the second man replies, “My pain?” The first man responds, “It runs deep. Share it with me!”
I sat on a soiled couch in the trash-filled dope spot as the OG stood and sang 2Pac’s opening line, “They’ll never take me alive, I’m gettin’ high with my .4-5 [pistol], cocked on these suckas, time to die!” He then sat down, lit joint, and discussed his perspective on life.
My friend spoke of the lifelong pain he experienced which apparently led him to a life of crime that culminated to the moment in which we both sat in a trap house. By his own admission, the OG didn’t see himself living much longer. His pain was said to have been almost unbearable.
It’s a lazy affair to merely assume that one understands what’s meant when a person conveys the experience of pain. Generally, people refer to physiological pain, psychological pain, or perhaps both concurrently. Per the American Psychological Association definition, pain is:
[A]n unpleasant sensation resulting from damage to nerve tissue, stimulation of free nerve endings, or excessive stimulation (e.g., extremely loud sounds). Physical pain is elicited by stimulation of pain receptors, which occur in groups of myelinated or unmyelinated fibers throughout the body but particularly in surface tissues.
Pain that is initiated in surface receptors generally is perceived as sharp, sudden, and localized; pain experienced in internal organs tends to be dull, longer lasting, and less localized. Although pain is generally considered a physical phenomenon, it involves various cognitive, affective, and behavioral factors: It is an unpleasant emotional as well as sensory experience.
It may also be a feeling of severe distress and suffering resulting from acute anxiety, loss of a loved one, or other psychological factors (see psychic pain). Because of these various factors, as well as previous experience in pain response, individual reactions vary widely. Psychologists have made important contributions to understanding pain by demonstrating the psychosocial and behavioral factors in the etiology, severity, exacerbation, maintenance, and treatment of both physical and psychic pain.
In adolescence, I couldn’t fully understand the physical and psychic pain experience expressed by my friend in a dope spot. Yet, what I did comprehend was that his pain ran deep and I allowed him to share it with me – or at least I gave him an opportunity to discuss his experience with me.
By that point in life, I’d already been informally life-coaching for three years. Admittedly, I knew very little about how to treat or manage the symptoms of what the OG shared with me. Much later in life, when becoming a psychotherapist, I better understood how to address pain.
Now, I practice Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and use the techniques of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance in my personal and professional life so that unpleasant pain may be tolerated and accepted without being aggravated by irrational beliefs about its existence.
All these years later, I’m glad that I made the healthy decision not to continue living as I did when subjecting myself to the perils of a trap house. Although the OG wasn’t as fortunate, because of his life choices, I’ve also learned from his human fallibility.
Perhaps you’re experiencing melancholic pain of a physiological and/or psychological nature. You don’t have to remain on a proverbial soiled couch while merely numbing pain with elements of escapism (i.e., marijuana, music, etc.). There’s help available, if you choose to accept it.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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